Atheist Saint
Crazed Fan
Poetic Terrorist
Blending the 21'st centrury with hate
Posts: 83
|
Post by Atheist Saint on May 16, 2006 22:43:26 GMT -5
I see a cracked mirror before me Choked, hung, swaying from a tree ' In the distance, birds chirp and sing Celebrating this loss of an unneeded thing The wind blows south today One breeze with confusion, another with content The trees sway with a whistling tune Trying to sing their blues away I hear the forest grown with sorrow As if to weep away it's suffering Tears fall from the leaves like blood The dirt cracks with constant confusion The rain starts coming down Attempting to remedy the ills placed here The mirror reflects a deep animostiy The rain burns with fear The mirror discharges my spirit My soul twines in every current Slowly fading away from pain I shall forever sleep with the rain
|
|
|
Post by Lisa Vicious on May 16, 2006 23:24:28 GMT -5
very good.
|
|
|
Post by QueenSlut on May 17, 2006 12:30:19 GMT -5
Very visual, nice work Bobby!!
|
|
|
Post by misstressmaris on May 17, 2006 16:19:43 GMT -5
paints a VERY good image! love it!
|
|
amyleeotepfan19
Curiousity Killer
Love is the slowest form of suicide...
Posts: 22
|
Post by amyleeotepfan19 on May 18, 2006 10:59:35 GMT -5
I agree! It's vivid. I love when I can see the situation of what I read. Awesome job!
|
|
alex
Curiousity Killer
Posts: 4
|
Post by alex on May 18, 2006 18:52:28 GMT -5
The last verse is the best, "...My soul twines in every current ..." - beautiful! Perhaps, should avoid using same words like "sway"-"swaying"... thank you.
|
|
xdrtlx
Curiousity Killer
Posts: 7
|
Post by xdrtlx on May 19, 2006 22:12:24 GMT -5
i like rain
|
|